Every bath interrupted, privacy gone to shreds, Fielding intimate questions while shaving my legs. Every lie-in abandoned, every elbow to the head, THE SUN IS AWAKE! Everyone’s in my bed. Every trip to the toilet is private no more, When two sets of eyeballs appear at the door. Every meal time thwarted, the riot act […]
Family: To the nursery teacher who called to say my son had settled, thank you
To the teacher at my son’s new nursery, who phoned to tell me he had settled almost immediately after a particularly awful drop-off this morning, thank you. Thank you for knowing that, an hour after I walked away from him – as he cried and kicked and screamed his way through another defiant display on […]
Family: A Letter To My Little Boy, Whatever The Weather
There was a moment when I knew, beyond any doubt, what it meant to be your mother. But it wasn’t the day you were born. It wasn’t the first time I knew about you, even – a long-awaited pink line forming in front of my eyes as I sat, perched on the edge of the […]
Family: Don’t Applaud Me For Not Being On My Phone Around My Kids
I wish my nails looked like this. Alas, not my hands. Or my phone. Yesterday at the park, an older lady complimented me. “Well done you for paying attention to your kids,” she said as she passed, “and not staring at your phone like they all do these days.” The “they” she was referring to […]
Family: You Are Enough (A Mantra For Mothers)
It’s a learning curve like no other – The day when you become a mother. The days are long, the nights are hard, A sleepless stare’s our calling card. A thousand voices chiming in, It’s hard to hear above the din. But this I know – this much is true, This time is yours, it’s […]
Family: On Leaving The House (A Poem)
When your day starts off wrong and you don’t even know Where the car keys have gone when you’re ready to go Your coffee’s gone cold and your hair looks like sh*t You can’t find a comb and the toddler’s got nits You forgot the packed lunch and the milk’s all run out He can’t […]
Family: What Did You Do Today? Your Response, Vs Your Toddler’s…
Ever wondered how your account of your day compares to your toddler’s? Wonder no more… _______ What you say: My toddler is really interested in farm animals – particularly the porcine variety – so today we watched a special programme about them. It also touched on family values and sibling relationships, so it was really […]
Family: The 9 Rules Of Being A New Mum On Facebook
Yesterday I overheard a conversation in the coffee queue, where two women were chatting about a mutual friend. ‘All she ever posts is photos of her baby,’ said one, crinkling her nose in mock disgust. ‘It’s so bloody boring’. The other rolled her eyes as she counted her change. ‘I know – NOBODY CARES, right?!’ […]
Family: To my second child, I’m sorry.
To my daughter, AKA The Second Child… I’m sorry I skipped the puréed sweet potato stage and went straight to chopped up chicken kievs for tea. I’m sorry that 80% of your wardrobe is hand-me-downs. And that most of them are blue, so people in the park think you’re a boy. I’m sorry I didn’t […]
Family: 17 New Year’s Resolutions A Grown Mum Probably Shouldn’t Need To Make
I’ll be honest. Having passed the 30 mark, got married and had kids, I sort of assumed I’d be automatically enrolled into the Grown-Up Club. And that grown-up type things (think neatly-folded piles of ironing and an alphabetically-organised DVD collection) would just sort of, well, happen. Unfortunately that didn’t turn out to be the case. […]