To the teacher at my son’s new nursery, who phoned to tell me he had settled almost immediately after a particularly awful drop-off this morning, thank you. Thank you for knowing that, an hour after I walked away from him – as he cried and kicked and screamed his way through another defiant display on […]
Life: The Day I Stopped Feeling Guilty And Everybody Won
On Friday afternoon, something odd happened. I had a bit of an epiphany. I was knee-deep in piles of dirty washing (Friday is both my day off and the morning my eldest is at preschool, so it’s my chance to catch up on All Things Housework to save doing it all weekend), I needed to […]
Life: Harambe The Gorilla – Let’s Sue The Four-Year-Old
You’ve heard about Harambe, the poor 17-year-old gorilla who was shot and killed at Cincinnati Zoo over the weekend when a child fell into his enclosure, yes? You’ve seen the Facebook memes with the sad-faced primate, the #JusticeForHarambe tributes all over Twitter, and the stories splashed all over the news. Hell, you might even be […]
Family: The Things We Do For Love
I just spent £20 on a toy dog no bigger than the palm of my hand. No wait. I just spent £1.20 on a toy dog no bigger than the palm of my hand. And £18.80 to have it sent in the post. FROM OHIO. Yes, that’ll be the one in America. Did I mention […]
Family: Don’t Applaud Me For Not Being On My Phone Around My Kids
I wish my nails looked like this. Alas, not my hands. Or my phone. Yesterday at the park, an older lady complimented me. “Well done you for paying attention to your kids,” she said as she passed, “and not staring at your phone like they all do these days.” The “they” she was referring to […]
Family: You Are Enough (A Mantra For Mothers)
It’s a learning curve like no other – The day when you become a mother. The days are long, the nights are hard, A sleepless stare’s our calling card. A thousand voices chiming in, It’s hard to hear above the din. But this I know – this much is true, This time is yours, it’s […]
Family: The A-Z of Modern Motherhood (A Poem For New Mums)
A is for alcohol – remember that stuff? You’re now a lightweight, so one glass is enough. B is for birth plans that don’t manifest, And ridiculous battles over bottle or breast. C is for Calpol – you’ll raid all the shelves, For teething and fevers and everything else. D is for dignity, rapidly lost, […]
Family: What Did You Do Today? Your Response, Vs Your Toddler’s…
Ever wondered how your account of your day compares to your toddler’s? Wonder no more… _______ What you say: My toddler is really interested in farm animals – particularly the porcine variety – so today we watched a special programme about them. It also touched on family values and sibling relationships, so it was really […]
Family: The 9 Rules Of Being A New Mum On Facebook
Yesterday I overheard a conversation in the coffee queue, where two women were chatting about a mutual friend. ‘All she ever posts is photos of her baby,’ said one, crinkling her nose in mock disgust. ‘It’s so bloody boring’. The other rolled her eyes as she counted her change. ‘I know – NOBODY CARES, right?!’ […]
Family: 17 New Year’s Resolutions A Grown Mum Probably Shouldn’t Need To Make
I’ll be honest. Having passed the 30 mark, got married and had kids, I sort of assumed I’d be automatically enrolled into the Grown-Up Club. And that grown-up type things (think neatly-folded piles of ironing and an alphabetically-organised DVD collection) would just sort of, well, happen. Unfortunately that didn’t turn out to be the case. […]